The Waiting Game...

Thank you so much everyone, for your encouraging words and advice last night! I have to admit, I did not sleep on it. I was awake a fair bit of the night and awoke this morning quiet distraught and unrested. Firstly, I have to say that my own meltdown probably helped a little with the kid situation. I think they realised mum is not God and cannot always fix everything. I think they noticed my own pain and hopefully it will assist this weekend as I do feel I have come to a painful decision.

I read and reread all the messages, but most of all I listened to my dog. Today was a slow and lazy day. Today there was no school work, no housework. Really no anything. On awakening, I held my dog and breathed with her and all I felt was her absolute exhaustion. I can relate to that, I have felt that way myself all week. It has afterall been a full on week for a mama. Sick kids, left right and centre. I might add it is still ongoing. TBF is suffering from her tummy on top of her teeth problem. TC came home from school this afternoon feeling like she was going to up chuck too! I cannot win! One starts to heal, another falls. Last night, after posting Gameboy did not quite make it out of bed and hurled all over the carpet in his room. FUN, just what I needed right now. He was so apologetic, I just wanted to hug him. Poor darling. Thankfully, the child had eaten nothing but salty chips all day so it was not too traumatic to clean up!

So sick kids aside, back to my dog. She is feeling so old and frail and tired. Mum rang this afternoon and pending her call tomorrow morning I am putting everyone on the spot. Maxi's leg has gone down considerably, the meds are working. She is eating, going to the toilet etc but still I feel like she is giving up. I will give her tonight to decide but in the morning I will ask her again. Those who suggested I should do so were right. She has had enough and living in a house with a bunch of healing types, one has to wonder if she has been hanging on just for our sakes?

It still ails me to think I must choose! She is an old lady, in human terms she would probably be over 100 years old. But how does that make it my choice? WT's comments had me thinking.....If I were whipping cream, how far would I go? ( I have been known to have my whipped cream fly all over the kitchen! LOL Yeah Im one for taking chances!) But yes, I have never whipped it so far that it would turn flat. I might toss it around a bit but I don't kill it totally! LOL

Like I said, I will ask Maxi how she feels tomorrow and if she wants to go, I will take her. James, the vet is like I said a lovely man. He took Jack, my mums dog and relieved mum of the burden when it was time. He took my brothers cat too when the time was right! He is a good man! Differences aside. I have trust in him. In my heart, I believe he would not have given me the ultimatum if he believed there was a chance. But in my heart, if Maxi is ready, I will hold her till the end. I could not let him do it for me. Tomorrow will be a hard day for me Im sure. But then again, who knows she may perk up over night! She has done it before.

Hugs and smoochies my friends. Love to all xoxoxox

Im scared!

Well, I have had a doozy of an afternoon! And as opposed to my usual Pollyanna attitude, I have decided to keep it real and tell you about it!

We went to the DR and she said Zaks ear was healing nicely! It was a perforated ear drum and he needs a little more healing time but it will be fine. We got home just in time to find out Gameboy had been throwing up! Oh joy!

While I managed to keep my spirits up and go and buy some powerade and salty chips and iceblocks, I thought, geez a glass of wine might be nice. Its been a shit of a week. Surely its gotta wind down by now? So yep I came home poured a glass and went outside to sit with my dogs. It was not long into it that I noticed one of Maxi's legs was awfully swollen.

Cameragirl and TC took her to the vet and I got a call not long after. He thinks her time is up! He thinks that I am being mean and should not keep her alive. She is too old! He is a really nice guy! He loves animals. I like him, although we do not entirely agree on everything! Im a bit of a herby a la natural type myself. He prescribed her some meds to help with the fluid but pretty much told me I need to make a decision by the weekend. He said that, my thoughts on dying naturally were cruel and unnecessary, even though my dog is happy and appears to be in no pain. He pretty much made me feel like a piece of shit. He made me doubt myself. He made me feel that I was not only letting down my dog but my children too.

You see, my girls want their dog to live forever. I wish I could make her do so. But I can't! It's breaking my heart. And after a shitty week and a rather stressful day, I finally had a meltdown. I WANT MY MUM!!!! Yep thats what I said, and thankfully I have one of those marvelous mums who listens. After a quick phone call she was on her way.

Meanwhile, I was sobbing on the loungeroom floor and Maxi was snuggled up kissing me trying to work out what all the fuss was about. As she licked my tears off my face and looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes, I wondered why I was doubting myself yet again? Sure, she is not so well but is it the end? Why is it up to me?

My mum came, hugged me and said, Its NOT up to you. Its up to everyone. You have to sit down and decide as a unit. This made me feel a little better, I have to say! I am not God, making a decision on someones life is something I am really struggling with. Yes, she is a dog, but she is part of our family. To me, she is one of my children. Would I put a needle in them?

Sure, if it would relive major suffering, maybe I would? But then again, maybe I would leave it up to nature. I can't say, I have never been put in that situation. Taking a life goes against everything I believe in. Heck, I don't even like to kill bugs!

I remember a couple of years back coming across a blog of a lady who had her dog die naturally at home of old age. Tucked up in its cozy bed, surrounded with love and family and I wanted that for my dog too. Back then I was told Maxi only had a few months to live. It gave me hope, I would not have to make a choice, this could be her! It gave me hope!

Here we are a couple of years later and she is still alive and up until now has seemed healthy and happy. So why the hell is she suddenly, apparently at deaths door? Her leg tonight has gone down a little with the anti-inflamatory she was prescribed. She is still happy and wondering what all the fuss is about.

I have a couple of days to decide......what would you do?..........I guess its hard for a lot of pe0ple to understand.....most people don't see a dog as an equal to a human do they? Maxi is one of my babies.......if she is meant to die then so be it....but I am not ready to make that decision for her.

Death to me is not an end, just a transition into another state of being. So that part of it does not bother me. If she were to go naturally, I would miss her but I would be totally comfortable that it was her time. Right now, she is showing no signs of any pain, she is eating, wagging her tail, but she has some kind of fluid build up in one leg. The vet says this is connected to her heart. He says, if it does not ease by the weekend, I must take her back and let him do the deed. He says, she will die horribly otherwise.

I am so scared! At the moment, all I can do is hold her, love her and breathe my energy into her. I know it cannot keep her alive forever. But please please God if you want her take her in her sleep!

PS.....My niece is so adorable.......check her out!

I miss her and mr Yakka so much! this sick house is driving me nuts!

Pet pics.....(the post you publish when you don't have time to post)

*(Pictures courtesy of Camergirl)

So how did this little scrap................

Turn so quickly into this........

Miko

I should have called her bruiser, as this is what happens to me everytime I go near her. She still likes to sit ON me rather than next to me and cannot help herself but give ear nibbles. Unfortunately NOT everyone likes them! Sorry :-(

Miss Isabella Pickles (our pretty girl)............(Walking great on her back leg and no longer needs her herbal rememdy! Yay!)

And old faithful, Maxi...........(She is still hanging in there, no meds at all! But she is definately going senile! We still love her though!)

Still missing our little Rupert, feels like forever since we held him.....RIP little one.....

Thats all I have time for right now, we are off to the Dr to get Zaks ear situation checked out! Catch you later! Have a great day!

Hugs and smoochies xoxoxoxx

HELLLLLOOOOO

Did you miss me? Well I have a quick few minutes in between wrestling with my washing machine to catch up with the whirlwind of a week, so I shall fill you in on last weeks madness!

First the washing machine decided not to pump the water out anymore, so to do the washing one must pull the hose out and hold it down to the drain in between each washing cycle to get anything done! Then the toaster half died. The dishwasher decided to somehow adjust its own legs and is leaning forward. This was a bonus, we thought the kids had broken the door but it just needs adjusting.

MONDAY: TC came down with the flu, we had our Vikings day.

TUESDAY: Art day at the Lake

WEDNESDAY: TC went back to school. TBF woke up with an infected gum around her wisdom tooth. Zak had spent the night with friends who had recently had a tummy bug. He had also been complaining of a sore ear on and off but as he seemed to recover every time he was getting his way, we were not too concerned. Upon driving TBF to the DR to get an antibiotic (the dentist was away on holidays) we get a phone call that TC needs to come home from school. She is still sick (she ended up having the whole week off to recover). We call in and pick up Zak who seems fine. Pick up TBF from the DR and head home to see how TC is. As we arrive home Zak starts crying, his ear now suddenly REALLY hurts. Gave him some paracetemol and he had a sleep. I figured if it was still hurting in the morning we would go to see a DR. He ended up in a lot of pain that night and could not sleep.

THURSDAY: After no sleep we called the DR ASAP and he could not get in until 11.15am. The DR gave him meds etc with instructions to come back in a week so she can see how he is going. We give him meds and painkillers and he promptly started throwing up. At first we thought it was the pain and the meds, but soon realised he had caught the virus his friends had. Poor boy! Due to the throwing up the pain meds did not do their job. I pretty much spent the afternoon with him sitting or laying on me and he graduated to the lounge by the evening when finally he was able to keep some Panadeine in his system long enough to dull the pain in his ear. THEN his fever went up. So I was pretty much up and down with him again giving him meds and bathing him. He especially liked the Lavender bath soaking.

FRIDAY: His fever was under control and he had perked up considerably. So I left him with TC and was able to go visit little Miss Chelsea who was born that morning. Gameboy had been keeping himself busy Programming and Playing computer games.

SATURDAY: TC was finally well and truly germ free so we took her down to the hospital, leaving the boys with Cameragirl for her turn to see the baby. While we were sitting there I suddenly came over all hot and thought "OH NO" We high tailed it out of there and I managed to make it home before I started throwing up. NOT FUN!

SUNDAY: I surfaced from bed a little while in the morning and did some cross stitch then layed down all day! I was so tired.

MONDAY: I felt better so got up and went for a walk along the beach, a swim and then came home. We read some more chapters from the Blitzed Brits series of Horrible Histories and worked on some comprehension. Played Cluedo. Took delivery of a box of books from Bookclub so that kept the boys busy for a while. Then I tried to squeeze in as much housework and cooking as I could before I dropped. I took some soup round to SIL and had another cuddle of the sweet baby. By after dinner I was exhausted.

TUESDAY: TBF woke up feeling like she was going to be sick so stayed home from work. TC went back to school. The rest of us climbed trees! Yep Im still kinda exhausted! hehe! It was a fun day and NO I don't have any pictures of myself. But here is one of SB on the BLACK course......(Yes he is hanging from his hands, I don't think I would have been up to this one!)

My mission this time around was to go further than the GREEN level which is the easiest. I did the GREEN and the BLUE this time so was pretty happy. The flying fox at the end of it was awesome. I would have gone for RED but my arms and legs were shaking, this time not so much from terror as from being tired. Once I got over the looking down part I found I was more focused on the task at hand than being scared! It was great fun! And yes I hugged nearly every tree I landed on! If you want to see more of the course (click here) for pictures from last time we went. I was on the ground longer and able to take much more pictures! LOL

Well Im off to do some more washing and sort these boys out. Have a great day everyone! Hugs and smoochies xoxoxox

Quick Update

Sorry for the absense! Apart from having a new baby in the family this past week, our house has had more than its fair share of illness. Today has been a big catch up day and while I would love to tell you all about it, time is a bit short and I am completely exhausted right now. Hopefully, I can catch up tomorrow afternoon or Wednesday! Hope things are going well in your part of the world.

Hugs and smoochies xoxoxox

Introducing........

Chelsea Alexandra

(who we shall call sweet pea for future reference)

Born this morning via C-section at 9.15am at Gosford Hospital. Weighing in at 3430 grams and 49 cm long. A beautiful little girl for my brother Darren and his gorgeous wife Alicia. A little "chister" for the famous MR Yakka.

(Are you sure thats her Nana? Shes a bit small!)

Welcome to the world beautiful beautiful girl! We knew we loved you before we met you! Meeting you today was just the icing on the cake! You are so perfect, words cannot describe. You could not have picked a family that would love you more. I could just look at you all day and night.

Your mama loves you........

Your daddy loves you.........

Your big brother loves you......

Your Grandad loves you ........

Your Nana loves you.......

Your Nanny loves you........

Your Aunty Karisma Loves you........

(Your Aunty Blossom especially loves you and wishes she could be here, half the cuddles from me today were really from her!)

Your cousins love you........even though you only got to meet Cameragirl today as the rest were sick. They adored your pictures and can't wait to meet you..........

After being passed around by a noisy bunch of family and staying asleep for the whole visit, you decided to wake up after we all left! Thats my girl, you sure are one of ours you gorgeous girl!

(Wake up picture courtesy of Daddy's facebook page! Gotta love that facebook! LOL)

Hugs and smoochies little one, can't wait to hold you again.

Congratulations mummy and daddy you guys are awesome I love you!

Wake up daddy! No time for sleeping now!

An Arty kind of Lake day........

Yesterday we went down to the Lakes Entrance to meet up with our homeschool group Central Coast Natural Learners and do a spot of painting and drawing! A & J, managed to get a grant from the local council/community college to help pay for art supplies and to fund three seperate days for the kids to get to learn about our the beautiful lakes in our region. This was our first day and loads of fun!

We had quite a good turn out, combining the Central Coast Natural Learners group, the Northern Lakes Natural Learners group and a few extras as well. There were tables set up with paints, charcoals, pastels and pencils, and the kids could draw or paint on canvas or art paper.

The little masterpieces piled up quickly, and thankfully no-one needed to use the bbq which we turned into an art "clothes line".

I managed to get a few pictures, although a little late. Some of the kids left early and took their works home. Others opted to leave their artwork to be displayed in the local library. Here is just some of the paintings left behind..... (The children ranged from 1-13 but most of the older kids took their paintings or drawings when they left......don't you think the littlies did a fantastic job?) ......

Yes there are sharks in the local lakes but we don't tend to see them much! (Shhhhh don't tell the tourists! LOL)

Be still my heart! Someone painted a rainbow! Sigh..........

This painting is by Sam aged 6. What a great job. The green trees were a cluster of trees that he and his friends had been playing in before and after painting. He included a bird and a duck too. Very proportional picture! Way to go Sam!

After art, the kids went and played in the skate park or climbed trees for a while and we lazed around under the trees or in the sun enjoying the fabulous views and good company. I got my hug fix, seeing lots of my friends, some of which I had not seen in a while and making new friends too, which was nice too! My boys opted to use the pastels for their one effort, Im not sure what happened to their pictures though. They are not among this lot.

When it got too hot the boys decided to take a swim in the lake! I was a bit dubious as it is a popular fishing spot and I was a bit concerned about hooks. But with warnings to watch out, off they went and had a ball. This would be them sitting out in the middle of the lake on a chair they found half way in! LOL...........

Hello out there....

NOOOO..Put it back...We are not taking that home!

Thankfully after another metre it was back where they found it and they had to swim back as the water was too deep to walk! All in all, judging by the amount of paint we were scraping off the tables and pavement later, it was a great success! We can't wait for the next one. How could we possibly top this day off? Tune in for next weeks adventures of the Central Coast Natural Learners, when we will be climbing very tall trees! Catch you later.

Hugs and Smoochies xoxoxox

Vicious Vikings.....

Today at Karisma's homeschool for little boys, it was all about Vikings! (Vicious ones at that!) We took the lead from a Horrible Histories activity book and after reading lots of interesting facts and checking out the World Globe to see where the Vikings lived and where they attacked, decided to get crafting! The book came with loads of stickers and a rather small sticker board. Not to be limited there, Zak had his big sister TC draw him a quick outline of a Norman village on a piece of cardboard and he coloured it in. (Well most of it, mama had to help too!) He then spent ages arranging all his stickers in hilarious positions! Mama felt very sorry for the poor village dog who was about to be sliced up by a nasty Viking, but not so sorry for the Vicious Viking who was about to get hit in the head with a village ladies saucepan!

We had planned to build a Viking Ship out of cardboard and wood but upon finding we did not have all the materials, Zak decided to model one out of clay! It is only half done at this stage as the beach was calling so off we went for an afternoon surf in the sun!

Zak has been on a bit of a frenzy with paddlepop sticks, cardboard and masking tape this week. The other day he taped up this contraption that started off as a plane and then turned into a kind of rocket car! Today he started to make a house and ran out of sticks, LOL, perhaps I better go buy some more......

When I questioned why he did not use glue instead of tape, he said he likes the tape and plans to paint his house when its finished!

Gameboy (who is not such a lover of arts and crafts) begrudgingly whipped up and painted a Viking Shield. This is his effort......(Not sure if we will ever get this one stirring his creative juices but we can only dream hey?)...

He opted to put his efforts into the computer for a few hours and then had a great time body boarding at the beach. His afternoon has been spent hanging out with his sister TBF watching movies.

As for me, I did a little cross stitching today, had a swim, did a bit of gardening, played with my dogs, finally did my grocery shopping (shock horror) and when SIL dropped in with Mr Yakka for a cuppa, I handed over all the baby goodies I have knitted, crocheted or bought in readiness for "our" baby who is due to arrive on Friday! How exciting! I finally worked out how to get the sling to work and stitched on a little flower that my friend Kel crocheted to jazz it up. I added a little bead as well. What do you think?

Can't wait till Friday to meet the little cherub that gets to ride in this. Mr Yakka informed me today that his little Chister is a girl and she will be getting a huge cuddle from him when she gets out of mummys tummy! How sweet! Lets hope so!

Poor SB tried to sneak out a little while ago to have a surf on his own and only made it to the car. Zak ran out yelling that he was coming too. The surf was pretty big today, a bit big for Zak but the child has no fear and insists on going every time. I think I might run and have a quick shower while its quiet and maybe do a little more stitching! Tomorrow we are off to the Entrance again, this time for an art class! Have a good night everyone.

Hugs and smoochies xoxoxox

Woops! Be Careful what you wish for.......

I have been continuously teaching my children that they should visualise what they want in their little heads and they just might receive.

So today when we went to our weekly raffle, (after I might add, thinking I was clever by leaving the hot pot brewing with a lovely vegetarian bean dish for dinner when we got home), and for the most part the raffle prizes are meat, what do you think might have happened?

The boys both ogled the meat and then I told them to imagine it cooking and them eating it. They certainly did that! We won not one but three meat trays AND a huge chocolate hamper which Zak says he could not help but visualise himself eating, therefore he should get that all to himself! LOL! Nana, also won a meat tray so we all went home a little better off for our tickets.

Now poor mama is faced with the thought of meat, meat, meat everyday! :-O Oh yeah, the beans were delicious!

Hugs and smoochies, hope you all had a great weekend! mwah xoxoxox

TC has wheels.....will travel.....

Well, its official.....The Captain is the proud owner of a brand new Amici scooter. All paid for with her very own hard earned cash!

She has been slowly venturing out around the neighbourhood, getting used to the feel of it and of course navigating the traffic! (No traffic at the motor cycle course so its been a little scary for her amongst cars!)

Im sure though in another week or two she will be off riding all over the place. Her confidence seems to grow very quickly! I have to admit to being a little nervous but at the same time very very proud of our youngest girl! Oh my how fast they grow up!

Of course not to be outdone, Zak jumped up and down until dad agreed to take him for a quick spin on the Street Triple. He generally goes out on the America as its a bit bigger and slower but it was in getting a new speedo attached so he got a bit of a treat.

Then on Wednesday, my brother took him and Gameboy out on their dirt bikes for a really long bush trek. They were pretty tired and very hot by the time they came home so Zak ended up missing baseball this week. They had a great time though.

Have a wonderful day everyone! Hugs and smoochies xoxoxoxoxox